passerine: Picture of Sparrow from Dykes to Watch For (Default)
Betty Friedan seriously got it wrong when she wrote The Feminine Mystique. I'll use my usual paraphrase-summary to get the point across:

Nobody can possibly be fulfilled as a person by the drudgery that is domestic labor and housekeeping. So...hire a cleaning lady and go find yourself!

The sad part is? I've tripped over this particular Fail over and OVER again in relationship-advice and parenting-advice contexts. The key to domestic bliss is to hand your dirty work off to someone else, and not think too much about the meaning of that act. (Say what you will about Nickel and Dimed but that book is the reason that such a thing will forever be a non-option for me.)

Why can't we all learn to, literally, clean up our own shit?

ETA because I remembered what triggered that line of thought:

Epic Doctor Fail = an opthamologist informing me that I am responsible for making sure my husband eats healthy meals. Seriously, WHAT? [personal profile] invisionary has some Weird Issue With Seeing that has him passing standard eye tests just fine but makes the reading of a paperback book a headache-inducing ordeal. He also once tested a little bit high on a fasting glucose draw. Apparently, this means that I, being Teh Wifey, am supposed to play Diet Police if I care about his being able to get through school (and that [personal profile] invisionary putting in a request for reasonable accommodation to his school on these grounds would be totally out of order). So much FAIL. *sigh* Anyone know of a good eye-doc around the capital district?
passerine: Picture of Sparrow from Dykes to Watch For (Default)
I don't think it's impossible to raise social class, some doomsayer predictions to the contrary. At least, I think that it is possible to go from, in GURPS terms, Poor to Average, or Struggling to Comfortable. (Anything beyond Comfortable is another matter.)

However, it's a bit like Finding The Right Psych Meds For You, if you are one of the people who is in need of such things. There are many options out there. However, as far as the usefulness of any given option, if I remember my reading correctly the best numbers I've seen (assuming correct diagnosis and yadda yadda) for a specific drug working to provide significant symptom control without intolerable side effects is about 40%. The chances that you'll get that drug on the first try...not necessarily so good, especially since that 40% number is for an oldie-but-goodie (lithium to treat Bipolar I) that doesn't rake in the dough for Big Pharma. And well, some drugs make things much worse if you attack the wrong problem - say, your "depression, insomnia and anxiety" is really bipolar disorder, or your "treatment-resistant atypical depression" is really hypothyroidism. People can also have drugs not just not work but make things actively worse - paradoxical reactions, allergic reactions, serious weight gain (or loss), and other truly unacceptable physical consequences are all possibilities.

And of course, because of the horror stories out there about particular drugs and their possible side effects (the 1-in-3000 chance of getting hit with the Lamictal Rash, the prospect of gaining 100 pounds on Zyprexa, the you'll-never-have-or-want-sex-again-and-btw-good-luck-trying-to-get-off-this-stuff horror stories of Paxil, etc etc) or because a given person thinks that "solving problems" with medication is ALWAYS morally wrong, some people who can barely function are continuing to barely function out of fear that they will lose what little function they have, or lose their pride in "making it on [their] own."

But anyway, this is about being poor, not about psychopharmgeeking.

and when talking about poverty, most of these issues have parallels )


passerine: Picture of Sparrow from Dykes to Watch For (Default)
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