Social Sparrow

So, for the first time since I got my driver's license, the license has points on it, because I got a traffic ticket. (I was speeding on a mostly-deserted rural four-lane stretch of US 20, driving down it like I would an interstate despite the lower speed limit; the cop decided to give me a bit of a break by calling it "failure to obey a traffic sign" making it thus not a "speeding ticket", which makes a difference in how insurance companies and the DMV treat the ticket. The only other traffic tickets I've had were the two I got before I actually had a license and the one that went away upon proof that I had made the relevant car repair.)

My husband has NOT done any of the following in response:

- Screamed at me.
- Gotten upset with me for being late to pick him up from school because getting pulled over delayed me and because I was careful to not drive over the speed limit the rest of the way there.
- Ranted and raved about how much this is going to cost.
- Allowed me to verbally beat myself up about how much this is going to cost.
- Made rude comments about my driving.
- Made rude comments about "women driving" in general.

Instead, he poked a minor bit of fun at me because I'm usually the one telling him to slow down, and then asked if I wanted him to finish the drive home (which I gratefully accepted) and picked up my favorite take-out dinner for me.

This is all good. The part that says that society is sick is just how grateful I am for it, and how some deep down part of me is surprised that my spouse is being a decent human being in response to my having a bad day for what is really my own fault. Because, y'know, I should be able to expect that the person I married isn't going to be a jackass towards me.

But I see so many relationships around me, and have been in so many relationships in the past, where that kind of disrespect, that kind of just plain petty mean-spirited crap, is the norm. So, while I'm grateful that I'm being treated with kindness instead of contempt, I'm also angry that there's anything to be grateful FOR. Because THIS SHOULD BE THE DEFAULT between people who claim to care about each other. Really.